Mixed Emotions

Tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.  Though I was not personally affected by the attacks that day, their second and third order effects have shaped my life and career in the intervening years.  I don't believe that I would have learned Arabic or be assigned as a Middle East specialist if not for the events of that day.

As such, I have struggled this week with the thoughts and emotions surrounding the anniversary.  Both personally and professionally, I strive to understand the people and the region, as well as seek out ways to have meaningful dialogue about issues of concern to both peoples.  There are times when I seem to be a Muslim apologist, working for the wrong side of a diametric issue - at least my Dad thinks so.  At other times, I hold views that can be considered polemical, bringing up contradictions and problems with the Middle East and Islam.  The issues are so emotionally charged, especially surrounding an anniversary, that I become dejected and despondent, wondering if any real dialogue and progress can be made.

This past week was a prime example.  In an effort to combat expected vitriolic attacks against Islam (most probably from Fox News), one of my professors attempted to educate an undergraduate survey course on what Islam was really about.  Unfortunately he was unable to find a 'neutral' movie explaining the basics of Islam, and so used one produced by a religious organization seeking to educate those who are curious about the religion.  The movies he chose were highly apologetic at the least, and missionary at the most.  While I certainly don't believe that a survey course learning about the basics of the religion needs to get into the nitty-gritty difficulties, I do believe that it should be more honest than the utter whitewash that was used.  I tried to put myself into the shoes of a young undergraduate, curious about Islam and the Middle East, who grew up in the shadow of 9/11.  The material shown in class would have done nothing to answer any questions surrounding why we were attacked.

So, therein lies my consternation.  I am stuck between two worlds, fighting to find an honest middle ground.  Islam is not the enemy, but neither can it be absolved of all responsibility for 9/11.  I pray that I am able to find a way to serve, educate, and dialogue with people on both sides of the religious and political divide.  I hope that I don't become cynical and dejected before any real progress is made in this world.